Skipping Stones

I have been struggling to get motivated lately. It has been so bad that I’ve found myself doing things I actively don’t like doing because I don’t have the emotional or mental energy to do creative work.

If I wasn’t so emotionally exhausted, I would be frustrated. The truth is, I go through stages like this. They’re not great, but I am being very careful not to call them ‘bad’ either. They just are.

My mind is like a lake on a still day, reflective and clear with nothing lurking in the depths. It’s a bit of a disconcerting feeling, honestly.

That’s why I am writing this blog post. I’m hoping that the small words, the light and easy ones that I use here will skip across the surface and make ripples. Maybe something in the depths of my mind-lake will see the glittering shifts of the sun in the water and swim closer to the surface. If it does that’s fine, but if the lake remains still, I’ll just keep skipping things across the surface and see what happens.

Sometimes, the desire to do something, to produce a piece of work or ‘achieve something’, is as crushingly exhausting as not sleeping for days on end. Nothing wrong with that at all. It just is.

Today, I am glad I had a teacher who taught us to imagine our mind like a place. Mine is a cottage in a forest with a river nearby that feeds into that lake. Maybe tomorrow I’ll get up from the pebbled beach with its smooth stones and head back to the cottage to do something. For now, I am trying very hard to let skipping stones be enough.

Image

Someone has an idea what else I could be doing. Hint, it involves head-scratches.

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